Ways to Remember a Loved One At Christmas

Coping With Grief This Christmas

Christmas is usually a joyous time of year, but for those who have lost a loved one or someone they cared about, the festive season can be a difficult time.

Whether someone you love has recently died or many years ago, remembering and honoring them on Christmas Day may help you with your loss and grief. Although they are no longer here, they live on in our memories and we can include them in our celebrations.

Here's what Amanda-Louise shared about some of the many ways you can remember your loved ones this Christmas, which hope will bring you some comfort:-

Attend A Remembrance Service

Remembrance services are often held at churches, hospitals, hospices and at funeral director homes during Christmas. You could attend one, either alone or with family and friends. Below is poem written by a Funeral Celebrant to bring comfort during the Christmas Period which was read at a Christmas remembrance service:-

Decorating a Christmas Tree

Whilst you may not feel in the festive mood, if your loved one enjoyed all the Christmas decorations then why not decorate your home with Christmas tree with family or friends, and take it in turns talking about your favourite memories of them.

You could make a wishing decoration and hang it on the tree with their name on it in honour, or there are many memorial christmas decorations that can be purchased online.

Lighting a Candle

The simple act of lighting a candle in your own home in memory of a loved one brings comfort. You could place the candle next to a photo of them. Talking to their photo keeps the essence of the spirit of the person closer to you, and lighting a candle is a simple yet fitting way to pay tribute to someone.

Honouring Traditions

It can bring comfort to do something that they always enjoyed to do at Christmas and is a way of honouring their memory. For example, if they enjoyed carol singing, why not find your nearest singing group or invite your family and friends to sing a song in remembrance?

If you are not into singing yourself, consider listening to some Christmas carol music

Doing Their Favourite Things

Whilst they may not be your favourite thing, remembering what they liked doing is cathartic. There are so many other ways, for example reading their favourite book or poem, going on a walk that has meaning for you, eating their favourite food or drink are all ways to honour them. And these, although may seem painful, is helpful to those still alive through their journey of grief.

Choosing to watch a Christmas movie is a firm favourite. There are the old classics of old or the more modern ones full of homour. Dont forget its okay to laugh - laughter is good for our wellbeing as it release endorphins into our bodies which help towards our mental health.

Devising New Traditions

Doing someone new can be supportive for some. Why not write a Christmas card to the person who has died - writing down your feelings is a positive thing to do,and you could pop it on the mantle piece, hang on the Christmas tree or place it in a memory box so you can look and read it when you need to revisit it.

Having a memory box is a good way to keep favourite items or photos inside.

Accepting It May Be Tough

Acknowledging Christmas time is going to be rough and by planning in how you will approach it is a positive step, whether you want to participate in activities or how you want to pay tribute to your loved one.

"Grief when it comes can be nothing like we think it is going to be. Importantly everyone responds to their grief in different ways. For many they simply cant face the whole festive vibe and being around people who are celebrating being together. And if you cant face decorating the Christmas tree, or accepting an invitation to family or friends for Christmas lunch where being jolly isnt for you this year, then that is absolutely fine. For some being at home alone in peace is the right thing to do for them. Then maybe next year, you will feel more able to cope with the social side of Christmas, Amanda-Louise"

Reaching Out

Grief can creep up on people without them realising and often they do not understand the emotions they are going through. In these cases, it is always a good idea to talk to someone; whether that be a family member or friend. And there are many charities that offer a wealth of free support.

For those who need a structured therapeutic support, consider Woventhreads who are based near Bridgwater in Somerset. Susan Hoyle can be emailed at: woventhreadservice@outlook.com.

Woven Threads in conjunction with Sparkle Project in Somerset run an open mental health wellbeing space every Wednesday afternoon - email woventhreadservice@outlook.com OR  christmassparkleproject@gmail.com for more details.

Here When You Need Me

"I understand grief is always difficult, and every day can be challenging coming to terms with a death and living without them, with days filled with a variety of emotions.

As a female funeral director, my passion is to do everything I can not only for the person who has died in caring for them and providing them with all the dignity and respect and best service they deserve, but also to their surviving families. Which is why my funeral home doors remain open after the day of the funeral supporting families with their bereavement. From listening ear to practical advice, and a warm welcome to my coffee sessions inviting everyone to join me for refreshments and a chance to talk about those memories or offer solstice for those who feel isolated and want a safe place to feel at home. Amanda-Louise Funeral Director"

For more advice about bereavement click here