Writing a Letter to a Deceased Loved One

Writing Letters to the People Who Have Died

Are you missing a loved one?  Did you see in the media ‘a special post box aimed at encouraging people in Gedling in  to write letters to loved ones who have died has proved popular.’

Of course grief is different for us all, and will come in waves, and can be very private. A renowned self help and a way of connecting with the person, is to write a letter to the deceased loved one, or for those who have faith to write a letter to the afterlife, to God, to the Spirits for example.

It can provide strength to the letter writer and be helpful aid when mourning the loss and grieving.  And it’s a way of being heard.

We understand no one can should make assumptions how you are feeling; after all being told its time to “move on” or “things will get better” isn’t always helpful to hear as we can worry that our memories will fade; perhaps the focus could be on how to live with grief?

Writing letters to the person who has died is a way of expressing feelings, a way of being heard and a way of connecting; and allows us to consider how we are feeling.

So where do you start, what to write, how many letters should you write, what to do with the letter afterwards? 

How to Start Your Letter to a Loved and Lost One

Writing letters these days are not so common, but imagine how you would write to them when you first met, or perhaps pick up from the last text you sent them.

For those experiencing a sudden loss might like to consider a letter starting “a goodbye letter I never dreamed I would write”  

What to Write to the People You are Grieving For?

Here’s a few ideas to give you inspiration:-

·        Tell them how you are doing

·        What you remember about the person

·        What you miss about the person

·        How you are feeling

·        Talk about things left unsaid

·        What you are doing in your life, new things

·        Or simply you are thinking about them 

How Many Letters Should You Write?

That’s very personal. It could be just one “goodbye” letter or you could do it regularly almost like a journal logging the life you are living for the both of you.

Valentine’s Day : Love Letter to the Dead

14^th February 2023 will be here soon, so why not write a letter of love to the person?  It’s a heartfelt way of expressing your love to the person, and importantly to celebrate the love that you have.

What To Do With the Letter After You Have Written It?

Burn the letter – it’s a good way of release for some

Put it in a drawer to read whenever you need to

Put them in a memory box, along with other treasures you wish to keep

Post it to your Funeral Director - many independent funeral directors are not just for the funeral day, they are there to support you for as long as you need them

Final Thought – Bereavement Self Help

We hope you found this article useful. Letter writing helps us to organise our thoughts, consider how we feel, keeps our memories as treasures, and is a powerful form of release.

It may be hard and uncomfortable experience to do; it’s a bittersweet thing isn’t it?

If you need support with grieving, why not find out when our next bereavement coffee afternoon is, its informal friendly way to connect with others over a cuppa.